wishingmeaway


	Long time no see.
	Ive been doing horribly. Im at my highest weight ever. My brother just got out of the hospital from being in IP for 2 months. He has a severe muscular problem, confining him to a wheelchair. My family has been in so much stress, all we have been eating is shit. And when I stress out I turn to food for comfort. I've been on a constant binge for the past three months. I've barely exercising, and i look like shit. Meanwhile my friends all look gorgeous. There all so skinny compared to me. 5'10, 126 lbs. 5'7'' 120 lbs. 5'4'' 103 lbs. Here I am at a horrifying, disgusting, 142 lbs. For 5'7'' I should be 110 lbs. No more. I need to be skinnier than my best friend (she's 5'10''), and look better than her too. She used to be way fatter than me, and I would always get compliments and people would envy me over her. That was back when I was 114 lbs, still loosing, and my brother wasn't hospitalized. I'm determined to get under 135 by september 17, the date of my friends brithday. That gives me three and a half weeks. Definately doable. CW: 142 miserable lbs. GW1: 134 lbs 9/17/09 GW2: 128 lbs GW3: 122 lbs I'm going to start using this regularly to document my progress to perfection


	okay, me
	ew im fat and pretty ugly--my hair was being FUCKING ANNOYING I will fast for at least three days--untill crew condtitioning i will not pass out i will not give in i will not consume calories i will not FAIL


	hunger
	I am on the swim team and after practice I get so hungry. I can stay under 250 cals before but after practice I almost always binge. Do you know any tricks to combat the hunger? Also, is there a way to stop charlie horses when you're swimming? Because I get them really bad, and I almost always end up crying. Thanks!